This is just about as close as you get to hell for a girl who hates to use the phone even to order a pizza.
The problem is, you not only have to get someone to not hang up on you right away (as soon as they realize they don't know you), but you have to get them to agree to take a 25 minute survey over the phone. WTF, Purdue? It's like Mission Impossible.
Those first 10 hours of calling were awful. People thought I was a telemarketer (do those even exist anymore??) and accused me of all sorts of things, including abusing senior citizens.
I finally got my shtick down half way through the calling. All I had to do was act like a timid, helpless girl and people were lining up to take my survey.
Everyone wanted to rescue me from my horrible job and help me overcome my anxiety over calling. They all started calling me "honey" and "sweetheart". By the end of my survey, I had about a 50% chance than the person I called would agree to take my survey; most wanting to talk for a full hour, telling me stories and asking me questions.
Normally such a blatant use of gender, femininity, and voice pitch to manipulate a person into doing what I wanted would make me feel like I was spitting in the face of feminism, trying to hide my successful and intelligent self in order to make others like me.
Instead, I am starting to see that we all have unique weapons in our arsenal of charm. I was giving a cynical performance; I fooled everyone I talked to. It was I who had the upper hand, who, at any moment, could have shattered the facade that I presented to get them to take the survey. I wasn’t sincere or actually scared or intimidated by them; I let them feel important in order to take advantage of them, there’s nothing weak about that.
It makes me angry to think that some people would try and make that skill less than what it is; that because it’s feminine, it must be less potent or less respectable an attribute than a more masculine alternative.
I think that is vastly undervaluing femininity, which doesn’t seem feminist at all. 
1 comment:
I guess your worry is over "reinforcing gender stereotypes" (the horror!) by acting helpless. And that's supposed to be bad because women will continue to be treated as though they're helpless as long as they continue to let men think that they are. Like you sometimes do.
But if you hadn't acted helpless, you wouldn't have been so successful. So what are you supposed to do? Let yourself fail so that other women, theoretically, can succeed?
One problem with that idea is that *not* reinforcing stereotypes won't do anything to combat them, and in the meantime, another woman has failed because of men's prejudices.
So I think you're right--what's most important is that you become a successful woman. Even if you have to reinforce some stereotypes along the way, surely the best way to combat those stereotypes in the long run is to become another example of a successful woman who is able to demand respect.
And if that has to involve using stereotypes to your advantage, it seems like that's not just something permissible; it's actually something you ought to do.
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