She did all the talking and demanded all the attention, and I listened patiently. But when it was my turn to speak I felt like I had to rush, because she wasn't listening or appearing engaged. This made me feel really uneasy. There was none of the usual give and take, the dance that you engage in when in a conversation with someone.
She cleaned her fingernails with the cap of her pen.
She laughed too loudly at her own jokes, and rolled her eyes at my music taste and my opinions that differed from hers.
After 15 minutes I found myself in almost a panic, wanting to get as far away from this person as possible. I cringed every time she opened her mouth, and as soon as I could make a discrete exit, I was out of there.
I realize now that this is person is almost a perfect example of an anti-seductive personality detailed in The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene.
The Vulgarian: Vulgarians are inattentive to the details so important in seduction. You can see this in their personal appearance- their clothes are tasteless by any standard- and in their actions: they do not know that it is sometimes better to control oneself and refuse to give into one's impulses. Vulgarians will blab, saying anything in public. They have no sense of timing and are rarely in harmony with your tastes. Indiscretion is a sure sign of the Vulgarian (talking to others of your affairs, for example); it may seem impulsive, but its real source is their radical selfishness, their inability to see themselves as others see them.
This is a time when it is appropriate to be judgmental. No good can come from associating with a person like this. I know that we have all encountered Vulgarians before. I encourage you to stay as far away from them as possible. More than just avoiding Vulgarians, you should make yourself their opposite- tact, style, and attention to detail are all basic requirements of a seducer.
2 comments:
Thank you for giving me a term to describe these people. In psychology we diagnosis them as having Narcissistic personality disorder. But I like your more fitting term Vulgarian.
Ha ha! I know that feeling, where you're trying to blurt out your end of the conversation as fast as you can before the other person gets bored. As soon as I feel that, I'm done. What's funny is that with such a person, you always feel entitled to talk because you suffered through their long-winded, self-involved diatribe!
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