If you'll remember, I have complained in the past about people not hiding their true feelings enough. No one wants those around them to be completely genuine, trust me. You don't want to know what others actually think about you.
Goffman believed that all the world is a stage (perhaps Shakespeare was a Sociologist as well). He talked about the Dramaturgical model of Sociology, where every action is a performance for others or ourselves.
"In a public space, the individual appears to be indifferent to the strangers in his presence; but actually he is sufficiently oriented to them so that, among other things, show he feel the need to perform corrective rituals, he can transform the strangers around him into an audience to receive his show."-Goffman
Goffman said that the sincerity of a performance has to do with how much the actor believes his own portrayal of himself. Some performances are "cynical" ( example: a person lies about being rich or pretends to be a hot teenager over the internet), some are "mixed performances" (for example, we think we are an attractive person but we flex a little to make sure that others notice), and some are sincere ( a student who really is interested in learning and takes very detailed notes in class).
One day while writing his dissertation, Goffman studied a restaurant. He noted that the back of the restaurant filled with dishwashers, cooks, and waiters was very different than the front of the house where the customers would sit. The kitchen area was filthy, the cooks foulmouthed, and the waiters who were so polite to the guests while serving them food, made fun of their speech and dress among themselves.
Goffman concluded that it is very important it is to have a front stage and a back stage.
The frontstage is where you give your performance, with the proper demeanor, props, language, and clothing.
The backstage is where the illusion is openly constructed. As anyone who has ever been in a play can tell you, backstage is nothing like the frontstage during a play.
We try and keep the backstage and frontstage from ever meeting, because the result, according to Goffman, is embarassment.
We've all experienced this: when a friend finds out we were talking about them, when a customer accidently walks into the kitchen, when someone reads something that wasn't meant for their eyes, when we spot a celebrity without makeup.
It is out duty as decent human beings to try as hard as we can to keep these two stages separate! I'm very aware that not everyone is an awesome actor and that sometimes people's frontstage is not very convincing, or they just decide, "Hey, I can't help feeling they way that I do, I'm just gonna let it all hang out; what have I got to be ashamed of?"
Well to them I say: for the same reason the waiters don't go out to the patrons of the restaurant and say, "I think you're wearing an ugly dress today, madam." Because it's RUDE.
While yes, to a certain degree you put on a show for self preservation (you would get fired for saying that), it is also in order to spare other's feelings!
So according to Goffman, we should not strive to be genuine. In fact, a society where everyone is genuine is where all social interaction breaks down.
